It is one of the most common problems in the world for women to think about how to get their men to make a solid commitment to them after many years. It can be quite frustrating, especially when you have put your all into growing the relationship and he keeps giving excuses.
One of the worst things that you can do to yourself in this situation is to blame yourself. Chances are high that it is not you, it is him.
He may have some commitment issues that he is just not ready to talk about, like trauma from a past relationship. In this situation, you have to look for the reason why he is acting in that manner and try to find a solution.
Don’t try to put pressure on him to be what you want him to be. Men don’t like that and instead of it bringing the both of you closer together, the chances are higher that he will run the other way instead.
So, what do you do to make him commit to you without putting too much pressure on him?
Here’s What You Have To Do To Make Him Commit With Little To No Pressure!
There are many tactics that you can use to bring your man to heel, including putting him at ease and actually focusing on making the relationship better for you both.
If he feels like he has found a friend and a confidante in you, the chances are higher that he will want to commit to you and make your relationship more stable and permanent.
Do the things that he likes, give him time by himself, and make him feel comfortable. Men make decisions based on how they feel at the moment.
So, if you want him to commit to you, focus on building your relationship and making it better. In no time, his behavior in the relationship will get so much better.
In addition to that, you can use the tips below to make him commit to you without pressure.
1. Make Him Work For Your Attention!
Men don’t want the easy things in life. They want to feel like they found something precious, worked hard to get it and they got what they wanted. You need to think about what it is that attracts him to you and then continue to offer him that. Think seriously about what makes you unique to him, the dial that up.
Don’t make things too easy for him. Don’t jump every time he asks you to hang out. Don’t spend your time on the phone waiting for him to call. Make yourself a challenge to him and he will want you so much more, eventually committing to you without pressure.
2. Make Things Fun!
Nobody wants to commit to a relationship with a woman who is glum, boring, and negative. Instead, have a positive attitude and make the relationship fun. Whenever you want to hang out, choose places where you’ll both have lots of fun and let go of your anxieties.
You both should be putting your input into making every outing fun. When he sees that he has lots of fun with you every time you both hang out or talk to each other, then he will be more motivated to commit to you.
3. Play Hard To Get!
Being there for him, immediately making yourself available every time he calls, and dropping everything to cater to his needs will not make you more alluring as a potential partner. Instead, it will make you look more like a lapdog while he chases the woman who does not give him the time of day.
If you are putting in much effort to make yourself desirable to him, then he will smell your desperation from a mile away and will start looking for ways to push you away from his life.
Men like to chase the things that are out of reach so if you want him to commit to you, then you have to play hard to get and make yourself unavailable. Instead of focusing on him, try to pay more attention to your own life.
Focus on your career, improve your relationships with the people that you care about and nurture your friendships. Do the things that matter to you. He will see that you have a life without him and will be more committed to being with you.
4. Make Friends With His Friends!
Most women don’t know but most guys will ask for their friends’ approval before fully committing to a woman. The best way to get your foot into the door is by being a friend to his friends.
Whether you like it or not, he will consult his friends while trying to make a decision on whether to commit to you or not. If you are in their good books, then more than half of your work is already completed.
So, try to become friends with his friends, both male or female. Be careful so as not to make it look forced. Just have casual conversations with them and make jokes with them.
It is easier to vouch for someone when you have a good impression of them. His friends are more likely to encourage him to commit to you if they know you and like you.
5. Be Mysterious!
Don’t give away too much too soon in your relationship. If you want him to commit to a serious relationship with you, then you must keep some details about your life to yourself. Don’t revisit any childhood memories with him or share what you’re doing in your day to day life with him.
To remain intriguing, you must hold back some layers of yourself. Throw some cryptic statements into your conversations and don’t reveal your secrets to him.
He should realize that if he wants to know everything about you, then he should be willing to commit to a more serious relationship. Another downside of giving everything away too soon is that you run the risk of sharing some information with him that he may not be comfortable with before you even get to know him well.
For example, you may have some character traits that he may consider unpleasant but because you don’t know him well enough, you may share those details and that can make you less endearing to him.
6. Never Directly Ask Him To Commit To The Relationship!
You must never directly ask him to make a commitment to the relationship. Honestly, this is the fastest way to kick him out of your life. If you find that you have become tired of his affections and you want to get rid of him, then, by all means, ask him that dreaded “what are we?” question.
But if not, you must take it easy and be patient with him, never directly asking him to commit to the relationship with you.
Instead of directly asking him to commit to you, focus on spending more interesting dates together. Invite him to movie nights, on casual dates, and just get to know each other better.
Chances are higher that when you do this, he will be more interested in being committed to you rather than directly asking him.
7. Don’t Issue Ultimatums To Him!
If you notice that he has started developing real feelings for you, you may start feeling impatient. In fact, it is normal to feel this way. After all, you have spent weeks, maybe months on your relationship in order to make it work and make him be the kind of man you want.
You may start to wonder why he is not going in the direction you want him to go. Yes, he cares about you but why isn’t he making more effort to commit to you. These thoughts can tempt you to issue him an ultimatum. He either has to commit or leave you alone.
Doing this may sound like a good idea in the present, but it never is. There are many ways that this can end: feeling backed into a corner, he may decide to cut his losses and move on from what he feels is a tricky situation and a trap or he may decide to commit to you.
You should know though that your relationship will not last. Decisions made under duress rarely stand the test of time. He will constantly feel trapped and wonder if he would have made the same decision under different circumstances.
Giving ultimatums should never be an option if you want to build a loving, healthy, and long-lasting relationship.
8. Don’t Try To Use Sex To Make Him Commit!
If you are looking for the most effective ways to make him commit to you, you may be considering sex. After all, it is one of the most guaranteed tricks in the book. It will definitely make him commit to you, no matter how long your relationship will last.
You should reconsider doing this though as it puts you in a very bad light. It is very manipulative and can even push the guy farther away from you. This is not a good way to start a healthy relationship because you will both know that the relationship had a shaky foundation.
Many relationships that start like this rarely stand the test of time because one party will care more about the physicality of things rather than the emotional.
Using sex to win him over can also be extremely damaging for your self-esteem as you will constantly bring your own self-worth into question and wonder if you could have made him commit without having to sleep with him.
If you’re going to be physically intimate with someone you love, then you should make sure that it is for mutual benefit and not as a means to an end.
9. Be Self-confident!
Nothing repels a man more than a woman who lacks self-confidence. Men like to know that they were chosen because of their admirable qualities and not because the woman was desperate and accepted just anyone.
Keep your self-respect intact and remember that you are a queen at all times. Raise your shoulder high in all your interactions with men and you will see that they will jump through hoops for you, including the man that you want.
When you are self-confident and you understand your value as well as what you bring to the table, then he will want to commit to you even more. This is because he knows that you have found happiness within yourself and he won’t have to work to provide that happiness and contentment for you.
Instead, you will both pour from each other into the relationship, build something strong, and elevate each other’s lives.
10. Give Him Some Space!
If you are not committed to each other, then what are you trying to achieve by calling and texting him every day? Men absolutely don’t like clingy women and will not be the least bit motivated to commit to you if they feel like they will have to work extra hard to take care of your excesses.
Men need their freedom whether in a relationship or out of it. If he thinks that you will try to take away his identity once he commits to you, then the chances are high that he will never commit.
Instead of calling and texting him all the time, try investing that energy into your life and career. Become a better, more accomplished woman. He will be more likely to commit to you when he sees the drive with which you go after your goals.
11. Form An Emotional Connection!
The precursor to every intimate relationship should be to form an emotional connection first before considering takings things further.
Be vulnerable with each other and build an emotional connection. Make out time to know each other, learn each other’s quirks, and become friends first.
Most men do not have an emotional support system as they don’t feel like they can open up to friends, sisters, or their mothers. Create a safe space where you both feel like you can share anything with each other.
Encourage him to be vulnerable with you, give him great advice and do all you can to make him feel safe with you.
The chances are high that you will both come to depend on each other and will come to want a deeper relationship than friendship. He will not want to lose his best friend and will commit to making a commitment much easier.
12. Make Him Invest In You!
Men value the things and people that they spend their hard-earned money on. They also feel the same way about relationships that they have invested feelings into and this is why men rarely let go of friendships.
If he has spent lots of time and money investing in your relationship, then he will be reluctant to let it go and will be more willing to commit.
If you constantly challenge him to be his best, then he will be more likely to commit because of his investment in the relationship.
13. Stop Bringing Up Commitment!
Yes, you want to be in a relationship with him because you have strong feelings for him and you have seen some admirable qualities in him, but you will have to give him time to come to the same conclusions about you.
Stop bringing up the subject of commitment or he will run quickly away from you. Men hate to be pressured into doing anything.
You’re likely to enjoy the relationship more if you just let him realize on his own that he can’t be without you. If you must, bring up the subject once and never again.
14. Reward Him For His Efforts!
When we do something nice for someone, it feels amazing to know that we have positively impacted their life or at least pleased them. Whenever he does something for you that you appreciate, let him know.
It can be as simple as saying thank you or buying him a small gift. This lets him know that he is able to please you and you are appreciative, which makes him want to commit to you.
15. Don’t Neglect Yourself!
Don’t ignore or abandon yourself while chasing your perfect guy. Remember that you’re not the only one looking for someone amazing to commit to.
Take care of yourself in the meantime, dress well, go on trips, have fun with friends and family, and enjoy your life. If things don’t work out, you will have these things to fall back on at least.
To Conclude!
Dating nowadays can be confusing, especially because it seems like everyone is commit-phobic. It doesn’t have to be though. The best way to snag yourself a partner remains to be confident.
The tips above will push you towards the finish line and before you know it, your man will be falling head over heels for you and begging for a commitment.
Being in a committed relationship has many benefits including the security that comes with knowing he is yours and you won’t have to worry about other women. You will also be able to enjoy your relationship and real intimacy without wondering about the state of your relationship.
Summary!
Below is just a quick summary of the 15 things you should do in other to get any guy to commit to you without pressure…
- Make Him Work For Your Attention
- Make Things Fun
- Play Hard To Get
- Make Friends With His Friends
- Be Mysterious
- Never Directly Ask Him To Commit To The Relationship
- Don’t Issue Ultimatums To Him
- Don’t Try To Use Sex To Make Him Commit
- Be Self-confident
- Give Him Some Space
- Form An Emotional Connection
- Make Him Invest In You
- Stop Bringing Up Commitment
- Reward Him For His Efforts
- Don’t Neglect Yourself…